What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?
Ans: Call him whatever you want, he can't hear you.
What do you call a kitten drinking lemonade?
Ans: A sourpuss.
Why did King Kong climb to the top of the Empire State building?
Ans: He won't fit into the elevator.
There were two ducks in front of a duck and two ducks behind a duck, and one duck in the middle. How many ducks were there in total?
Ans: Just Three.
What do you call a zipper on a banana?
Ans: A fruit fly!
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Ans: Fsh.
What vehicle is spelled the same backwards and forwards?
Ans: Racecar.
What do lazy dogs do for fun?
Ans: Chase parked cars.
What do sea monsters eat?
Ans: Fish and Ships.
When does a boat show affection?
Ans: When it hugs the shore.
What kind of cheese is made backwards?
Ans: Edam.
What kind of stones are never found in the ocean?
Ans: Wet stones.
What city has no people?
Ans: Electricity !
Why did the clock in the cafeteria always run slow?
Ans: Every lunch it went back four seconds.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Ans: Because all his uncles were ants.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Ans: Because it was not peeling well.
What month has 28 days?
Ans: All of them !
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a tiger?
Ans: I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen carefully.
What do you get when you cross SpongeBob with Albert Einstein?
Ans: SpongeBob SmartyPants !
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
Ans: FrostBite !
What gets wetter the more it dries?
Ans: A Towel.
What building has the most stories?
Ans: A Library.
What flowers do you always wear?
Ans: Two Lips .
What can make an octopus laugh?
Ans: Ten Tickles (Tentacles)
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
Ans: A jeweler sells watches and a jailer watches cells .
What is in the middle of Paris?
Ans: The letter 'R'.
If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become?
Ans: It becomes wet.
What grows down when it grows up?
Ans: A Goose.
How could a cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay two days, and ride out on Friday?
Ans: His horse is named Friday.
What is so fragile even saying its name can break it?
Ans: Silence !
What do moths study in school?
Ans: Moth-ematics.
What can you put in a wood box that will make it lighter?
Ans: Holes.
What bone keeps getting longer and shorter?
Ans: A Trombone.
What goes up but never goes down?
Ans: Your Age.
What 11-letter English word does everyone pronounce incorrectly?
Ans: Incorrectly.
What seven letters did Old Mother Hubbard say when she opened her cupboard?
Ans: O I C U R M T
Why won't bikes stand up by themselves?
Ans: Because they are too tired (two-tyred)
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Ans: Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Ans: They'll break if they drop them.
When can you put pickles in a door?
Ans: When it is ajar (a jar) !
Why is six afraid of seven?
Ans: Because Seven eight nine.
What do you call your father-in-law's only child's mother-in-law?
Ans: Mom !
Why do lions eat raw meat?
Ans: Because they never learned to cook.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Ans: Because he was feeling crummy.
How many animals did Moses take on the Ark?
Ans: None, it was Noah.
What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?
Ans: An Umbrella.
What's black and white and red all over?
Ans: A Zebra wearing too much lipstick.
How much is a skunk worth?
Ans: One Scent.
Why did the cake like to play baseball?
Ans: Because it was a good batter.
What goes hahaha, plop?
Ans: Someone laughing their head-off !
Why didn't the lady run away from the attacking lion?
Ans: They told her it was a man-eating lion !
Why has no one ever spotted a leopard in Africa?
Ans: Because Leopards are born with spots.
What did the banana do when it heard the ice scream?
Ans: It split.
Would you rather have a tiger eat you or a lion?
Ans: I'd rather have a tiger eat a lion.
What has 3 heads, is ugly, and smells bad?
Ans: Oops! My mistake. you don't have 3 heads..
